Believe. Believe. Believe.

“Believe He CAN. Believe He CARES. Believe He COMES.”

So many times I have chanted and chewed on this phrase, this mantra, that in a simple way reminds me that I’m not fighting autism alone. I can’t give up on Jesus’ power to intervene and to show up even when the tides of doubt and fear rush in and whisper, “It’s too late. The damage is done. Miracles and healing are random and rare. Don’t get your hopes up. Your faith is too weak.”

I was first introduced to this phrase several months ago when I was reading the Max Lucado book Every Day Deserves a Chance. I remember at the time feeling so submerged by the weight of dealing with autism, and to be honest, every day felt like a drudgery that I didn’t want to face. Period. I couldn’t see a way out or feel the optimism of a bright future, and as Max Lucado broke down the story in Mark 5:21-43 where Jesus raises a young girl from the dead, I began to gain my fight back again.

BELIEVE HE CAN… You see, a man named Jairus in this passage is not much different than us parents that are fighting for our kids’ lives. As he saw his daughter suffering and on the brink of death, he remembered the stories he heard of Jesus healing the sick. It was their only chance. All other options were dead ends. He knew Jesus had the power to save her, and if he could just find Jesus, He would make his child well.

BELIEVE HE CARES… Jairus found Jesus in a big crowd and he fell to his knees and begged, “Come and lay hands on my daughter so she will get well and live.” Jesus had compassion and went with him. “Yes!” Jairus must have thought, “This is going to happen. It’s all going to be okay.” And then, the unthinkable happened. The momentum got stopped dead in its tracks. A woman with a blood condition reaches out in the jostling crowd and touches Jesus’ robe. Instantly, power went from Jesus and healed the woman. He stopped to try to find who touched Him, looking all around for that person. Finally, she came forward and showed herself. Because she took a risk of faith, Jesus tells her she is healed and whole.

That’s great for her! Fine and dandy, but in the meantime, during this pit stop that Jesus made, Jairus got the news he most feared. Someone informed him it was too late. His daughter was already dead. Accept it. Time to move on and quit bothering Jesus. How disheartening! Those minutes could have been the difference between life and death, he must have thought. But then, Jesus–in the midst of the most final and bleak circumstances–says, “Don’t sweat it. Just trust me.”

BELIEVE HE COMES… People were already piling in with hotdishes for the grieving family when Jesus arrives on the scene. He’s not phased by their reports of death. This isn’t over. He still comes and He gently takes the girl’s hand and says, “Get up, little girl,” and she starts walking around and needs a sandwich because she’s hungry. Of course, everyone’s beside themselves. Life is restored.

I long for life restored. Over the months and years ahead, there are some things we’re doing in our own power that I imagine will help our son. He can’t help but make some progress from the therapies and the natural treatments that we’re trying to put into place. But, I also know that just managing autism is not what I want to shoot for. I want Jesus to come and heal my son, ultimately. That is beyond my own power and ability, so I need to rely on Him. Healing could come through giving us guidance for what paths to choose to help him, or it may mean supernaturally making his body respond to healing and restoration in his cells and functioning. I don’t know. 

No matter what, though, I’ve got to believe that Jesus will come. No matter what the circumstances look like or how final the decree, I’ve got to believe that the Name above all names is above the label of autism. “Incurable” is crushed by the God who can do the “impossible.” I’m not above begging God like Jairus did, or nagging like the persistent widow in Luke 18. When I start feeling complacent like I’ve prayed this prayer for my son’s healing hundreds of times so “just do it or don’t, God… I can’t deal with the emotional ups and downs of faith and doubt…,” I must remind myself to believe that Jesus can. That He cares. That He comes.

How many of us give up on shooting for the best outcome too soon when God wants to prove to us that we were right to believe that He can

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3 Responses

  1. Hi!
    Thanks for sharing. I admire your boldness to share your faith and believe God for Josiah’s healing. So many times I wish I somehow lived in the time when Jesus physically walked the earth. I imagine myself breaking through the crowds with daughter in arms, trying to get to Him, begging Him to lay a healing finger upon her. Even though we don’t live in Biblical times, I still believe we can literally hold our children up to Him with all the faith that is in us and trust Him to heal and touch them.
    Praying with you…

  2. I like that Mantra a lot. Thank you for sharing it in detail 🙂

  3. I have two young sons with autism. We have traveled the road of countless therapies, special diets, supplements, biomedical options, IVIG…
    and one thing I finally know for sure….
    Jesus Christ is the only true answer for hope and restoration. We have let go of many of the things we thought would ‘fix’ our boys. We now enjoy the true beauty that they are, and look in great anticipation for the day that they will be fully restored. Jesus is still in the healing business. We can be a part of the miracle of believing this truth before the physical manifestation of it can be seen. Your words are true and heart felt. Thank you for sharing!!!

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