The Clouds Part

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted and so much has happened. For one thing, I took a much-needed two-week break from work to hang out at home and just restore my mind and soul. In the year that we’ve been dealing with Josiah’s autism, I just got more and more run down and things were starting to get on top of me–at home and at work. I had to do something about it. My mom came to visit for 10 days and we talked and went out to lunch. We prayed and cried and laughed. It was wonderful and cleansing.

I also got to read. I spent two hours one morning at a coffee shop and just sipped my latte and read. I finished out Jenny McCarthy’s new book, Mother Warriors, right there at Caribou Coffee. I read three books in five days! I felt like God was speaking to my spirit, and I actually had made some room in my head to listen. I’m going to recommend some books to you moms who could use a boost and some advice!

Mother Warriors gave me a renewed tenacity to keep fighting for Josiah, and keep searching for the treatments that will help him most. That Jenny, when you talk about pitpulls with lipstick, that’s what she is. I really admire her relentless passion to take on conventional medical and governmental standards and demand better for our kids. We moms need that voice and we need continued hope that our kids can get better, and maybe even recover.

I was at a Christian bookstore and came across two great books: The Wounded Woman (Hope and Healing for Those Who Hurt) and The Worn Out Woman (When Your Life is Full and Your Spirit is Empty). It was like all of my thoughts, emotions, fears and vices from this past year were addressed in these books, and they pointed to action steps to come out on the other side stronger. One prayer that one of the writers recalled praying to God after her daughter had been in a car accident resonated with me and I personalized it:

Okay, God. I understand what You are saying to me… the healing I long for Josiah’s life isn’t up to me. The assignment is too big for me. But it’s not too big for You! I see now that I am simply one of the many tools You are using. I surrender to You, to Your plan, to Your timing, and to Your outcome. I believe You are a miracle-working God. Once again I place Josiah in Your loving hands, trusting You to be his God… to be our God and astound us with Your goodness.

Finally, my husband I took an afternoon and went to the movie “Fireproof.” It stars Kirk Cameron and it’s about restoring a marriage. I wasn’t going to go because I thought it would be on the cheesy side, and then I saw a Dr. Phil referring to it, and thought it would be worth seeing. Granted, the acting wasn’t Oscar worthy by any stretch, but the message was powerful. It gave us a lot to talk about afterward to try to regain intentionality to continually work on our marriage. Joe went out and bought the book The Love Dare that was featured in the movie so we can surprise each other with selfless acts of love and kindness. Check it out!

So, all that to say that it was a good two weeks and a chance to make great steps in the right direction. Do you have any books, movies, or articles that you have read that really spoke to you at a key time? Please share them with me!

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4 Responses

  1. Tahni, it amazes me to hear you say you are run down and depleated…The words you write in your posts are anthing but that. I hear God’s strength and encouragement when I read what your saying. By no means do I mean to say you don’t feel that way…or your feelings are validated. I’m saying I hear what you are saying, but at the same time coming out loud and clear to me is God saying “you can lie down and rest in peace, for I alone make you dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8
    Oh, isn’t it nice when you read a book, especially when you are giving up precious time to do so, and it pays off in full! Where it just inspires you and you what to run to the roof tops and shout “YES! I NEEDED to hear that! Read IT and you will FEEL whole.”
    My author of choice is Susie Larson. I did her study about balancing physical and spiritual life in a busy world. I am now reading a fun book, because I needed a break. But the other Susie book I’m working on is Uncommon Women. She speaks to me in a way that helps “insecure” me see that God wnats to know me, regardless of my flaws. I have issues with that. I try really hard to be prefect and act perfect and do as Jesus’ would, then I sin and I feel worthless, why try I’ll never be worthy. I just don’t seem to have the grace part figured out. I GET it in my head, but we all know that the head and heart are to totally different organs that function on their own terms!
    I am so blessed by your words and struggles. I see Him working and anytime that is apparent to me I am drawn closer to him. Like a kid with a magician. I want to see the wonder up close.
    Wishing you all a very Happy fall!

  2. So glad you got the chance to fellowship with your mother and take a much needed break. Have you come to any decisions about re-arranging or re-balancing things? I’m praying for you!
    I haven’t seen Fireproof – will probably have to wait until it comes out on video, but the other movie – produced by the same church that did Fireproof – is Facing the Giants. Have you seen it? I don’t cry at movies, but I bawled like a baby. That movie SPOKE to me and our situation with Rhema. Also, I recently began a Bible study with a few other autism moms – we’re doing the 40-day devotional Finding God In Autism.

  3. Isn’t the warrior book amazing? I’m reading it now, and have had to stop a few times as things hit close to home. You are inspiring with the other books you suggest. Have you seen the devotional for moms of special needs kids? Uplifting and encouraging…if I could only remember the name of it! Great blog.

  4. my daughter loved Fireproof. I really want to go see it. I’m glad you were able to have that time. I think everyone should make that mandatory in their lives at least once a year 🙂

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